Many people have been bullied at some time or another at school. Acid comments by the school girl clique, shoving in the corridors, a foot out as you walk by, friends suddenly ignoring you as you say hello. Lets be honest, it was shit as a kid, and its shit as an adult.
You would hope that as we all reach adulthood, that we would magically become reasonable, realistic, understanding and compassionate, but this is Planet Earth, so it isn't going to happen. A couple of years ago, my group of girlfriends disintegrated after allegations of bullying; one of the girls had a habit of regularly cancelling plans at the last minute, often while the rest of us were sitting in the bar or restaurant waiting for her. One girl took the philosophical view that as she was leaving the UK in a couple of months, it wasn't worth raising the issue. One girl opted simply not to plan anything unless it was a group outing, ensuring she wouldn't be left sitting alone when she was 'stood up'. And girl number three eventually snapped and forthrightly told the inconsiderate lass exactly how badly she was behaving. It swiftly fell into a 'She said, you said' situation, and a catalogue of whispers, text messages and emails later, both Little Miss Forthright and Little Miss Inconsiderate both claimed they were being bullied. Several attempts to 'clear the air' took place without any success, and any socialising was very uncomfortable, meaning when Little Miss Traveller departed, the other three found less and less reasons to meet up.
So the question, how do you know when you are being bullied? Are you just being overly sensitive? Reading too much into a situation? Or are you placing more value on the friendship than others do? And what happens if you are being bullied? If this social group is your main - or only - group of friends, it can be difficult to cut yourself off from the problem, as you'll be worried about sitting at home being Norma No Mates. And whether you live in London, Kendal or Abram, it can be tough to make new friends as an adult.
I don't have any answers, just questions.
You would hope that as we all reach adulthood, that we would magically become reasonable, realistic, understanding and compassionate, but this is Planet Earth, so it isn't going to happen. A couple of years ago, my group of girlfriends disintegrated after allegations of bullying; one of the girls had a habit of regularly cancelling plans at the last minute, often while the rest of us were sitting in the bar or restaurant waiting for her. One girl took the philosophical view that as she was leaving the UK in a couple of months, it wasn't worth raising the issue. One girl opted simply not to plan anything unless it was a group outing, ensuring she wouldn't be left sitting alone when she was 'stood up'. And girl number three eventually snapped and forthrightly told the inconsiderate lass exactly how badly she was behaving. It swiftly fell into a 'She said, you said' situation, and a catalogue of whispers, text messages and emails later, both Little Miss Forthright and Little Miss Inconsiderate both claimed they were being bullied. Several attempts to 'clear the air' took place without any success, and any socialising was very uncomfortable, meaning when Little Miss Traveller departed, the other three found less and less reasons to meet up.
So the question, how do you know when you are being bullied? Are you just being overly sensitive? Reading too much into a situation? Or are you placing more value on the friendship than others do? And what happens if you are being bullied? If this social group is your main - or only - group of friends, it can be difficult to cut yourself off from the problem, as you'll be worried about sitting at home being Norma No Mates. And whether you live in London, Kendal or Abram, it can be tough to make new friends as an adult.
I don't have any answers, just questions.
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